Push Back Offensive People without being Offensive

20 March 2019
Offensive People, boss scold

[ The Story ]

Jessica is a fashionable lady who are working for a design firm after graduate from college.

She loves fashion, she is passionate about design, she loves her job...

While everything seems on the right track, somehow Jessica finds herself is getting more and more nervous and depressed at work.

When she hang out with her friends, she mentions her symptoms...

She has a bossy boss, every time when she has made some minor mistakes, her boss will criticize her loudly in front of all her teammates.

This makes Jessica feels ashamed and embarrassed.

As time goes by, she is feeling herself stupid; unimportant and unworthy...

Say No, Push Back, Reject, Self-Defend

[ Analysis ]

Everyday we have to deal with different types of people, some of them are nice; easygoing and kindhearted, some of them can be very challenging though!

If we were the boss, we can choose what kind of subordinates to hire, but usually we cannot choose what kind of boss to work for.

Unless people work from home, many of us need to work in the office at least few days per week, so it could be very stressful if we are having a bossy boss.

However, that's not the end of the world... We can definitely Push Back!

win-win solution, handshake

[ A Wise Solution – Push back without arising conflicts ]

When we hearing the word “push back”, you may imagine a picture of arguing; negotiating or breaking the harmony... which is undesirable.

Therefore, many of us choose to avoid, to keep silent, to suppress our emotions.

In the short term, we can still endure. But in the long run, there will be negative effects on our mental and physical health.

Actually, “push back” doesn't necessarily mean we have to response louder; to say any hurtful words; or to behave offensively. Although some people do so...

Of course, people can use their power. But we have the POWER over ourselves too!

Wait! I am not telling you to revenge!

Rather than abuse our power, we can use it in a harmonious; cooperative and constructive ways.

don't worry, don't sweat it, no worries

[ Suggestions ]
When you are in a embarrassing situation, following these steps:

#1 Stay Calm
React impulsively can easily and quickly making silly mistakes.
Stay Calm for at least 3 seconds, as to clear your mind; adjust your emotion; decide your best reaction.

#2 No need to Argue (especially if you are facing your boss or customers)
You need to self-protect yourself, but no need to self-defend.

Avoid reacting in the following ways:
"I'm not the one making this mistake... ..."
"It's not my fault, I just follow the instructions from (somebody)... ..."

In most cases, people won't be happy receiving above messages, because they feel that you are not sincerely accepting comments or you are making excuses (lying).

#3 Smile
Try to smile confidently.
If you can't, then try to pretend to smile confidently.
Try your best effort to turn your fake smile into a real one.

#4 Respond nicely and decently
Yes, I understand someone is stepping on your toes.
However, to step back on someone's toes won't solve the problem but just raising interpersonal conflicts.

It is important to stay professional in your workplace.
Professional image will help you stand out in the crowd and success in your future career.

#5 Do NOT Internalize insults
If you are still feeling uncomfortable when the problems are solved.
Share your feelings with friends, treat yourself gently or seek expert advice.